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I wish I could tell you I love you
I think it’s true and I know you do, too
So beautifully frustrating to be wrapped up
confused, and comfortably lost in all you do

Three years of wondering if wandering without a clue
is preferable to coming to an end that doesn’t involve you
Can I hold you when you’re sad?
Will I fix you when you’re broken?
Can I stay asleep and keep kissing you
Numbingly love-drunk, unable to move

Being close to you feels amazing
Separation is like a withdrawl
And after tonight, I think I’m relapsing
Addiction beating me to a crawl

I’m writing this now out of anger,
of addiction and fear of abuse
Involuntarily, temporarily,
mad at the you that I choose

I wish I could tell you I love you
before you stand up and depart
but there’s too much to risk,
even far more to lose,
It’s like you’re heroin going straight to my heart

my brain